I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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