Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
