I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
