I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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