So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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