Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
