Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
