i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i came on her dog
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
