you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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