..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Randomize
