24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
