Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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