I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
