Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize