I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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