Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
