At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
