How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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