My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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