what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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