Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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