I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
