I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize