if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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