we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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