Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
