I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
