what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
