So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize