I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
