And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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