I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
