he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
