I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
