I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
