can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
