u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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