I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
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I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
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I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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