I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
