1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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