he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
