I just pynch a tree in the face
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
