I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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