she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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