she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
