god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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