I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
