You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
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Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
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I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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