you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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