But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
