He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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