Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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