where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
