Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
