Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
