I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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