Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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