you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
