Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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