I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
