my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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