so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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