Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
