i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
