um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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