I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
